Its been quite some time, in fact a long time, for me to stand at the door step of becoming a director. All my well wishers from the film industry (big technicians & top directors), friends and family have been asking me the same question... When are you going to direct?
Fact is, even before I joined the industry, when I was a young school boy, I had this confidence that I will become a successful director and the same confidence stays even now, uncorrupted, pure and sincere.
But why it is so late for me to direct a film than most of others? (my counterparts, juniors & seniors etc.?) Its been 11 years since my first film as an assistant director got released..!
The experience inside the industry exposes you to lot of vulnerabilities. To make it very simple, a person with minimum creative skills has less chances than a person with maximum communication skills of becoming a director, fast, quick & easy. No film institute, no practical work experience can guarantee you to become a director. It will only double your confusion. Only the thought of wanting to direct a film inside you will fulfill it.
Since the whole world revolves around comparison I too was attracted towards lot of movies made by others "waiting" to be made by me. My mind set used to revolve around directing Nagarjuna because of his "Shiva" or Mahesh because of his "Okkadu" or with Kamalhassan because of his "Nayagan", "Guna", "Devar Magan" and Aamir Khan or anyone who excited me on screen with their recent works. Unlike majority of many aspiring film makers of south who were attracted by Shankar, I always thought I should professionally beat Steven Spielberg, Mani Ratnam, Ram Gopal Varma, Selvaraghavan, K Vishwanath, Ashutosh Gowarikar, Sam Mendes, Rajkumar Santoshi, Rakesh Mehra, Chandrasekar Yeleti, Mira Nair, Zhang Yimou, Francis Coppola, Shekar Kapur, Takeshi Kitano, Christopher Nolan and the legendary Akira Kurosawa for all their best works till date.
To understand the fact that I am not here to make movies like those directors, or to make movies with those actors, took its time. Since am not a natural story writer, I was forced to write stories which should be directed by me, and it took its time. Since I am Chaitanya it took all this time.
I will agree with so many who said it is my weakness, but I strongly believe it is also my strength, and I will prove it.
Now that I have understood that I have come to peace with myself. Movies are like holidays, I really enjoyed them watching all these years, working all these years trying to learn the art of motion pictures. This happiness is because no one teaches you how to direct a film, but you will have to do it and learn it. This happiness will be the same for all of us who watch, work or make movies.
I am now at an important crossroad where I will choose my path with double the energy to continue the journey.
Where success is not an end of it, but always a part of it.
Fact is, even before I joined the industry, when I was a young school boy, I had this confidence that I will become a successful director and the same confidence stays even now, uncorrupted, pure and sincere.
But why it is so late for me to direct a film than most of others? (my counterparts, juniors & seniors etc.?) Its been 11 years since my first film as an assistant director got released..!
The experience inside the industry exposes you to lot of vulnerabilities. To make it very simple, a person with minimum creative skills has less chances than a person with maximum communication skills of becoming a director, fast, quick & easy. No film institute, no practical work experience can guarantee you to become a director. It will only double your confusion. Only the thought of wanting to direct a film inside you will fulfill it.
Since the whole world revolves around comparison I too was attracted towards lot of movies made by others "waiting" to be made by me. My mind set used to revolve around directing Nagarjuna because of his "Shiva" or Mahesh because of his "Okkadu" or with Kamalhassan because of his "Nayagan", "Guna", "Devar Magan" and Aamir Khan or anyone who excited me on screen with their recent works. Unlike majority of many aspiring film makers of south who were attracted by Shankar, I always thought I should professionally beat Steven Spielberg, Mani Ratnam, Ram Gopal Varma, Selvaraghavan, K Vishwanath, Ashutosh Gowarikar, Sam Mendes, Rajkumar Santoshi, Rakesh Mehra, Chandrasekar Yeleti, Mira Nair, Zhang Yimou, Francis Coppola, Shekar Kapur, Takeshi Kitano, Christopher Nolan and the legendary Akira Kurosawa for all their best works till date.
To understand the fact that I am not here to make movies like those directors, or to make movies with those actors, took its time. Since am not a natural story writer, I was forced to write stories which should be directed by me, and it took its time. Since I am Chaitanya it took all this time.
I will agree with so many who said it is my weakness, but I strongly believe it is also my strength, and I will prove it.
Now that I have understood that I have come to peace with myself. Movies are like holidays, I really enjoyed them watching all these years, working all these years trying to learn the art of motion pictures. This happiness is because no one teaches you how to direct a film, but you will have to do it and learn it. This happiness will be the same for all of us who watch, work or make movies.
I am now at an important crossroad where I will choose my path with double the energy to continue the journey.
Where success is not an end of it, but always a part of it.
