Three Years

I still remember the night, exactly same time, three years before. There were just few tired, neighboring women present, in the hall.
For a couple of hours only i had time to speak to my Mother, about how everything happened.
She just listened. She must have hated me for not telling her before. Even to her.
I explained her that it must be for good, that it happened soon.
We both knew he suffered, but very less when compared to what was predicted and what i had imagined.
My father died at about 11:30pm, 5th Oct, 2005.
Next day my mother was speaking to some relatives about the trauma i had undergone those 2 weeks, prior to the incident. Since i was the only who knew that his cancer has gone way beyond.
Sometimes, i am not sure, i have a feeling, may be a doubt, that if i had treated my father at the Apollo Hospital or an equivalent, rather than the Government General Hospital, would he have lived for SOME MORE TIME? OR would he have suffered SOME MORE PAIN?
The fear of how to generate funds for the treatment, made us take a decision, about the General Hospital. But, if my father had died, after the treatment from Apollo hospital, may be my conscience wouldn't be as worried as it was before.
But, if my father had never smoked in his life, he wouldn't have visited any of the above hospitals, and had definitely lived this day.