'Game of Horns'

Yesterday morning while I was dropping my daughter to her school on a two wheeler, I spotted a lonely 'Pigeon' stranded in the middle of the road. I did not slow down, but continued driving straight towards the bird thinking it will instinctively fly away. But the bird did not move an inch. I panicked and quickly avoided it at the last minute and drove past her, only to realize that the pigeon was sick and cannot fly or even walk.

I couldn't stop my vehicle to save it, as there were cars and buses racing behind me and my daughter in the middle of the road. 

All the way to the school I was imagining how that helpless bird is going to get crushed under one of the unsuspecting motor vehicle that was speeding behind me.

On the way back I saw that poor bird lying dead on the same spot, with its feathers spread all across. I did not stop then also.

I was only thinking about how 'ethical' it is for us to drive on the roads, killing all those innocent animals on our highways?

We can endlessly debate whether a road accident involving the death of an animal is a criminal offense or not, but ethically it is a crime to take away the life of an animal. So should I be expecting a petition to ban all motor vehicles in our country and close all our roads?

‘Movement is the means of our Progress’.

We transported ourselves from villages to mega cities, bypassing every ethical method of treatment to our planet, our nature and our animals.

Ten days back I read a quote which I liked very much. 

'What if, Aging is a Disease and Earth is a Quarantined Planet, and that’s why Aliens don’t visit us?' 

Though the above quote sounds illogical, I am curiously expecting their visit to take over our place on top of the food chain. Since death is inevitable on earth, Aliens are only allowed to kills us or eat us, but not permitted to play with us. 'Aliens for Ethical Treatment of Humans' :)

When the 'Law of Nature' is impartial, How ethical it is for a court, in a cow worshiping country, to interfere between the man and the animal, when the partiality between Milk, Meat and Morals are still in distinction? 
'The ethics of any organization is power'.

Before the invention of machines, ethically all men depended on animals to plough the earth, to produce milk and food, to make clothes and become what they are today. 
After invention of this ban, it is law defying to watch an entire generation coming together from all over the world to support 'Jallikattu' and 'Tamil People' only to remind that the bull is not the animal here, but the inner emotion of every defending individual that have been provoked. 
'Their love for animals is displayed with their hate for injustice to man'.
The 'Spirit of Marina' only proves that people are awesome and animals are beautiful :) 

Honey-B

During the first week of Jan 2010, in one of my random chat session with a writer from Kerala, I came across the phrase 'Imperfection is the beauty of Human Life.' Inspired from this sentence, I started working on my 3rd script. Later on, that story underwent lot of changes and completely changed from the central point on which I started working. But that script was not green-lighted even after some big production houses liking it.

In 2011, I was supposed to direct writer J.K.Bharavi's 'Rampachodavaram'. But that was a hasty, unprofessional announcement made public. There was just an idea without a script and it was just a proposal even without the approval of the alleged casting. 

In 2012, my 4th script got approved by two leading production houses which I almost felt, will be my second film. During its scripting I got a proposal to direct Brahmanandam's son Raja Goutham for a relatively unknown producer. 
On one hand I had my established producer ready to do a film with my 4th script. On the other side, I saw an opportunity and a risk to watch my first script 'Basanti' in a theater, which I have been narrating from all those years, to more than a dozen producers and to half a dozen actors, in Tamil & Telugu film industry.
After three months, the 'unknown' producer vanished. Then came a second producer who perished within two months. And then came a team of three people into picture who wanted to turn producers with my film.

"I suddenly woke up from the coma of reality".
I realized that, after three years of my debut as a director, I had spent six months of my valuable time in the company of cons. I understood that in this pursuit of my dream, I will have to negotiate with a bunch of extraneous people dressed up as producers. 
I was in a dilemma to leave 'Basanti' again, just like how I left it back in 2008. Finally, though with a lesser budget than originally intended, I was 'once again' pushed to become the producer just like back in 2008. 
"It was a risk I took again".
But the risk was always mine. I took this risk, for seeing 'Basanti' becoming a film, instead of staying in a pile of papers in my file. I took all this risk to become the only person to be blamed if anything goes wrong. I took all this risk because I knew that I will continue to make more movies. Moreover already I was in a financial risk :)

'Basanti' shoot started on Feb 4th 2013 and ended on Nov 4th 2013. The film was completed in 71 working days in a long stretch of 9 months. Because we were on our own, it took all that time. As a first time production house 'StartCamera Pictures' had lot of issues in the making. I was shouldering a mountain weight of responsibilities which was influencing me with my knowledge. I could clearly see the three-layered loss of productivity from the vision in my mind to the scene paper on my table, and what was actually happening in front of the camera.
My personal excitement as a film maker started only during the post production stages. Composer Mani Sharma was one person who wanted to produce this film way back in 2008, and here he delivered an outstanding, competitive and truly professional work. His name will be on top of the list of people who made this film memorable for me. 
Now that 'Basanti' has completed its censor formalities today, and seeing my name as the producer and director in my second film itself, I started remembering all the people who made this possible and also all those others who made it impossible :)

When he watched my 'Baanam', writer J.K. Bharavi told me that he understood how much I love cinema.
But 'Basanti' is my first love letter when I started writing for cinema :)

The Scent of a Man

A week back his father invited me to their home town for the first anniversary ritual and there was also a limited edition book release of his collection of stories organized by his close friends. I could not go, or I did not feel like going. 

Because of the only reason that, he was not there.

Our first meeting was on April 2009.

He was recovering from a surgery and I asked him what did the doctor say? He told me that the doctor had warned him not to drink again else he will die. And so he had questioned the same doctor “what if I don’t drink?”

 After i came back to Hyderabad from our first round discussions I called him,

 “Sir, I have good news and a bad news”

“Good news first”

“Our picture heroine is confirmed”

“Good, what’s the bad news?”

“The entire discussion we had in Vijayawada got erased from my voice recorder, we don’t have a backup”

“Ok… I can write it again, but how much do you remember?”

“Only the good ones”

“That’s enough”

Such a terrible singer he was who sings “Naalo Nenenaa” all the time. When I requested him not to sing, he requested me not to listen. After the film got released he told me “You didn’t use much of what I wrote, but you had used everything I had said. Now I know how to write dialogues for your next film”

I have never seen jealousy on his face but only a childish expression of amusement about everything around him. He will be surprised to know when Telugu writers got paid 50-60 lakhs just for the story, or will innocently ask why our script writers travel to Bangkok for story discussions?

Though we did not meet or talk regularly as much as how close we are, to which he explains “You will call me only when there is something useful for me, and I will call you only when there is something useful to you” .  

Even after the release, I could not discuss much about my film scripts. He was always unavailable for my stories but always available for me. I wanted to pay him what he truly deserves and then only engage him professionally as a writer. 

But we spoke about many things. Our discussions flowed from the secrets of the Universe to the secrets of a Man. I spoke to him about my personal secrets which I have never discussed with any other human being. When he was there, it was like talking to myself. He used to be like a mirror where I could stand naked with my thoughts. He named our discussions as "intellectual intercourse". His assistants used to tell me, that whenever we both meet, his face glowed with true joy and happiness, and I could sense the jealousy of other people inside the room for that importance he always gave me. Whenever film makers approached him to write dialogues, I used to tell him, that they are making a serious mistake by asking him to write. Instead they should just listen to him. They don’t know what they were missing.

One day he teased me that he got an offer to direct, like all other writers. I told him to go ahead saying directing a film is very easy. He angrily replied "You could have just said shut up". He questioned me about how did I ended up in this film industry, assuming that I don’t belong here. I told him that it was my choice. When I asked him the same question he said that it was by chance. 

In this cinema industry, I may not be grateful to my first film producer for giving me the opportunity, but I will always remember him for introducing me to the most interesting personality in my life.

When some websites wrote bad about him he asked me if I had seen the news. I told him I saw them on the internet and sincerely said it was all true. He smiled and said “Yes, what they wrote about me is true, but I wish they could have written many other truth's which are good about me..:)"

He always called me "abbai" and had my name in his phone book as "che".  I told him that am not so young for him to call me his son. He says “You are younger than me, that’s enough”.

Whenever I questioned him why does he drink so much? He will say “I cannot interact with all these foolish people on a daily basis with my consciousness around”
Life was like a foot-ball ground to him, where he played with true spirit. But his short life in the Telugu film industry was like a foot-ball game where people played with him.

Our last meeting was on 27th April 2011.

On that day, he did not know that I cried like I have never cried so much in my life. Not even when my father died.

One year later.

I could still smell the fragrance of Nagaraju Gandham.

Part Time Job

My younger cousin sarcastically said that Puttaparti Sai Baba never proclaimed himself as god, so why question his identity when that old man is struggling for his life. My intention was never to make fun of an old man on his death bed, but my only wish was that before he dies, let him see a new world.
May be an utopia.
I want him to see the rest of us, this one billion Indians who can have a home, health, internet, food, 3G mobile, clothing, cable television, car, income tax returns, movie tickets and positively peace. I wish none of us will have to see an another old man suddenly fasting for the country.
The reason why people all over the world suffer from injustice is because they just don't understand. This lack of understanding causes confusion. Even I don't understand many things.
I respect Anna Hazare for waking up our community from the coma of corruption. The whole nation feasted on his fasting, except for the real hungry and the starving...
I also liked when India won the cricket world cup. If you question me which lingers more in my mind, then you already know my answer. I clearly understand the world cup victory more than the movement on anti-corruption or the identity of a god-man.
I am neither a full time activist fighting for those one billion needy nor a diplomat to protect the rest of the greedy. I am just a part time sympathizer of my society.
The greatest tragedy for a society is to have sympathy.
When a legitimate advocate should very well know what is justice, why will he or she dispute with his colleague in the court of law, knowing which is the truth, who is correct? and what is right?
Every politician proclaims sincerity, promises reliability for the society and protection for the public. Then why do they have to contest with each other in elections? They should very well be knowing who is right & eligible for such a powerful position.
With great power, comes great responsibility.
We also live in the era of media where ethics take the back seat, sensationalism is the turning point of every incident and everything is a breaking news including the anti-corruption movement.
Recently The People's Republic of China has banned time travel. They think time travel 'casually make up myths, have monstrous and weird plots, use absurd tactics, and even promote feudalism, superstition, fatalism and reincarnation.' People of China and people of rest of the World will come to know about this communist decision at the same time. Communication has revolutionized the Internet, Telephone and Television along with the thought process of human beings. The response time of our emotions is as quick as we change the channel... and, as long as...
May be we are actually time traveling.
I am encircled by people who lie, cheat, bribe, gamble, drink & drive, break every possible law as per their convenience and also raise their voice for anti-corruption & anti government.
I am in a profession which supports black market and encourages black money, practice piracy, fake, unfaithful, manipulative, non punctual, unprofessional and in-disciplined.
I am a part of this everything for most of the above and/or a mere spectator for some of the above. Just like many of us, I am hanging in between...
Honestly... I live under the magic spell of dishonesty.
May be time travel is the only option left available to reach utopia.

One Short Film

This was originally an idea for a "painted" short story which I wanted to make it using the sketches of film-maker & artist Mr. Bapu. Though I am yet to meet Bapu garu in person, decided to post it here, instead of keeping it for myself in my laptop. I didn't write this on a paper, so I assume the file name '9^th March 2008' as the date of origin for this concept. 

AYYO… RAAMA!

Long long ago... so long ago... Ayodhya was sleeping peacefully. The palace is silently guarded by the royal soldiers. In that chilling winter night, Lord Hanuman was sky-diving somewhere over 'The Himalayas' as peace was finally restored in Ayodhya.

As 'Lava-Kusa' are also reunited with their father along with their mother, everyone in Ayodhya are happy. So is Raama. 

Seetha suddenly woke up with a shock, involuntarily saying "Ayyo... Raama". Her eyes are frightened, she is sweating even in that freezing cold. She looked liked as if she saw  'Raavan’ again! 
She turned back to see her husband 'Raama' sleeping quiet next to her. She got down the bed and drank down the whole of water from the cup.  She went out to see her twin boys, who were also in a deep sleep. She then walked to the balcony and saw the whole of Ayodhya silent, in her husbands' peaceful 'Rama Rajya'.

Seetha was thinking about her dream. It was really a bad dream. She suddenly shivered as something touched her. Raama touched her shoulders gently, from behind. Seetha turned back and saw his face. Rama's face was beautiful like a blue sky. 

Raama asked her “What happened dear?”

Seetha “I had a bad dream”

Raama “So it was a dream... what was it?”

Seetha “I saw people suffer... here in our very own Ayodhya”

Raama smiled “Look around... where is the suffering? People are all sleeping peacefully"

Seeta “Dear lord, but my dream was about the future. It was so powerful, I felt it happened for real..."

Raama saw Seetha's trembling face. He remained silent for a moment. He tried to imagine her dream.

Then Raama asked, “What was your dream that you are so worried about?"

Seetha calmed down and asked “Dear, Is it possible for the world to experience pain, fear & loss in the name of Raama?" 

Raama assured "It is impossible dear. From now on, as long as I exist, people cannot suffer. Rama Rajya will be forever and applicable to all man-kind..."

Seetha continued "I dreamed of a distant future where there was a situation for the people in Ayodhya, for a very long time, that caused confusion and provoked hatred among them..."

Raama said, "May be you were just dreaming..."
Seetha "But I saw an invasion on our country, conquering our very own 'Ayodhya' which was the reason for all those disturbances I saw in my dream..."
There was an unbelievable silence. 
Seetha concluded "Dear, I want to believe that every act of 'God' should prevent everything that will disturb the peace and harmony of every living thing, all over the world... Including my, this Dreadful Dream..."

The moon went behind the cloud, hiding Raama’s face in darkness.

The A & The of a Nobody

As long as nothing is questioned, everything becomes a part of something. A Culture is just the unchanged-practice changing. When no 'Saffron Brigade' could stop the wedding of one Hindu-Man with another Hindu-Man, we surrendered Nature to... Aculture.
If Something is the 'Ultimate', 'Greatest', and 'Best' in world, then... why it is so 'different' for the rest of individuals? Is it to prove that everybody differs with everyone?
Many years back, when I was studying 4th std in Baba School, I and my 2 classmates took an oath in the class to join Indian Army. That was day when our prime minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated and our classes suddenly got cancelled. As kids we wanted to take revenge for the Prime Minister's murder by joining the Army, without knowing anything about reason or consequences of that assassination. Today I am not in the Army and feel that my feelings of revenge as a 4th std kid was strange. If I was ignorant as a kid, now I am even more, as an adult.

"Change will be there, from our conscience till our absence".
If I ask myself why do I Change, then I question myself as who am I? A Lioness is identified as a Lioness from birth to death. Same is the integrity of a Male Buffalo. But I am now identified as a "Film Maker" which is just about me, but not... me.
Even my birth name, gender, status, religion, beliefs, morals or my activities cannot be me. They could only define the noun, verb, adjectives etc... about me.
Then I think about all the mirror image reflections' of this world passing through my consciousness to the sub-consciousness... must be the reason for all these developmental changes that made myself into this Somebody... But, then, Somebody is also not me???
May be I am just "A Nobody!"
So I now understood that anyone can easily become "A Somebody".
But impossible to become that "Nobody!"

In Front Of The Box

During the 70's my father resigned his secure job as an Executive Officer from A.P. Endowments Department and shifted to Madras to become a writer for Telugu Films. He did not hesitate to go to Tamil Nadu though he does not belong to that state. During the 90's when the Telugu film industry shifted out of Madras, my father resigned his job as a Film-Journalist in Andhrajyothi group and stayed back in Tamil Nadu till his death.
Migration is common, even among Beasts.
Every Animal has its own territory which is marked by its own excretion. The terroritory is the place where it starts to live, will continue to live for the rest of it's life. An animal doesn't know whether it was born there but just believes that it is his place, and this is her future.

Congress Party was the only party which stood strong about 'Samaikyandhra' during this year's election campaign. Rest of the political parties like TRS, TDP & PRP who campaigned strongly for Telengana lost to the Congress party in this year's elections.
But, after the death of YSR this September, common sense became nonsense. Elections & voters were ridiculed. M.P.'s & M.L.A's resigned as and when. Law & Order was the season's comedy. Bandh, 144 section are like commercial breaks. And still Christmas will be celebrated tomorrow..:)
If the United States of Andhra Pradesh is divided, will the future headquarters of 'Telugu' Film Industry be Hyderabad, Bangkok or back to Madras?
'3 Idiots' is releasing today and I wish Telugu People should not become Idiots during the time of division. They should stay together like real friends who may be living in different places. 
Violence, Confusion, Communal Hatred, Exploitation and Economic Imbalance should not be the Agenda for the brothers in the divided states of Telugu.  Reality shows like 'Telengana Big Boss' or 'The Telugu Big Brother' should end, and the actual reality shall begin...

I am not Ashamed

I am Good. I do Bad.
I am Honest. I speak Lies.

I can Think only for Me.
I can Eat only for Me. I can Shit only for Me.
I am the Beauty to Me. I am the Ugly to Me.
I want Everyone think of Me.

I see Everything, except Me.

I can Differentiate others only with Me.
I have my Confidence. I have my Fear.
I am Happy. I am Sad.

I am Intelligent in Some things.
I am a Fool in Many things.

Why Me? Only Me?
Because I am the Ordinary.
Because I am the Special.
Because I am Me.
And I am Like Me.

I only Live for Me.
I only Love for Me.

Reason for a Success

'Baanam' had generated mixed response. Who ever saw the film had an "opinion" and who ever didn't, doesn't have any "opinion". I don't have answers for the questions like "whether this film is a good film or a bad film?" "is it a hit or a flop?"
I watched the first day first show at Prasads multiplex with my family and friends. After that i never went to a public theater, to avoid the self-convenient excuses, and losing basic instincts based on other people's reactions.
Movies are a different experience for every individual, being an actor, or a producer or the audience. I have my own experience. My job is to 'Direct' this film well. I can claim thousands of excuses for whatever happened or blame others for whatever not happened in this film. But there is no excuse for a 'morning show'. Today (16th Oct) I will have to accept the fact that 'Baanam' is removed from the theaters in Hyderabad, exactly one month after its release (16th Sep).
But I somehow strongly believe that the purpose of this film is not yet complete, it just started.
"When the date changes, today will be a history for tomorrow".
I never thought that I had invented the Movie Camera, or I had brought Independence to our Country. But I am the only one who directed "Baanam". I am happy for this and I am proud that I made my whole team happy for being part of this. If anybody else is complaining, they deserve it. Success is a relative term. It varies from 'Person to Reason'.
I remember some 10 years back, when one of my childhood friend advised me that film industry is not a place for my type, who thought I cannot survive here to become a director, the 'top most job' in the business. Since few years another close friend & a top technician from the industry was advising me, that as long as I don't believe in God I am not going to become a director.
They may be just two, but I proved both of them wrong.

Baanam: Curtain Raiser

This is my first film as a director.  In this film I tried to recreate, once again, the spirit of Howard Roark on screen. People who watch this movie should say how far I have been successful. But the story of this film is not at all related to any of the tributes which will be obviously noticed in the movie. One of them is the legendary 'cycle chain' shot from Shiva(1989). 
Since the primary objective of this teaser is to gain attention about this film, i chose to show that shot which i felt was more decent & exciting than a woman's cleavage, an adult joke, or brutal violence on the screen.  This is first visual look of the film to everyone who is not associated with it.
I am very clear that a particular film cannot satisfy everyone in the world. It will appeal to those who like it. 'Baanam' is an action film without any violence. And it is definitely a different film from the house of Vyjayanthi.
'we all steal, but if we are smart we steal from great directors. Then, we can call it influence' Krzysztof Kieslowski.

War

Only in Mankind, there is this discrimination between Good and Bad. No other "life" on Planet Earth has this privilege of being differentiated based on its characteristics.
When a snake kills a rat, its for food. When a deer eats a plant, its for food. When a soldier kills an enemy, he is a hero. But when a poor man steals money, he is a thief.
Life is a Convenience.
Humanity is not the 'characterisation' of a human. Just like any other living thing, we too are born to reproduce. Not to buy a ticket for heaven or hell.
"Selfish" is not a bad-word.
A generous person selfishly donates a beggar for his purpose and satisfaction. Requirement is for both. A king wants his son to be the next king, a Toilet Cleaner doesn't want his son to clean the next toilet. A 'devotee' using God and a 'customer' using a Prostitute are the same. if God was happy, then she is also...
A single sperm will compete with million other sperms to reach the egg. It is "survival" of the fittest, because we should know, that it's not the "sacrifice" of those millions.
Buddha sacrificed his own family. Hitler killed many families. May be, both were trying to win a war. Within them...
Just like Gandhi & Godsey, Teresa & Mallya, Politicians & Beggars, Film Stars & Rag-Pickers, Good & Bad, You & Me.
When you live, everyday is a war.
And in a war, loss is for both sides.
I am Fighting my own War.

Behind the Ghost

Most people believe in God. I wanted to see The Ghost.
There have been N-number of Ghost sitings by various Men around the World. George Bush and the Rest of the World are constantly in fear of Osama Bin-Laden. They should have left the job to the Ghost. Ghost's, that should have been became, from the murders Osama had committed...
Why does a Ghost always attacks an Illiterate Villager who worships God and does not attack Me, who doesn't?
We assume that Mobile Phones, Televisions and Computers does not become the Ghost. Since we call them Non-Living Things. But we don't see or talk about a Ghost of a Mosquito or a Cockroach, Rats or Elephants, Birds or Pigs, and all those Crabs & Fishes we have been murdering endlessly.
Should a Species must be well developed to "become" a Ghost. Or it should be well developed to "create" one?
We don't see a Ghost in a movie theater, playing their movies. No Radar detects them, no Satellite traces them. Its only men who see it and talk about them, since generations, ages and centuries.
And they all say, an unsatisfied life becomes a Ghost after its death, but I am yet to see a satisfied man, Alive.
And I wish to see the Ghost of a Bhagat Singh and N-number of Heroes who ended their journey... half way.

Three Years

I still remember the night, exactly same time, three years before. There were just few tired, neighboring women present, in the hall.
For a couple of hours only i had time to speak to my Mother, about how everything happened.
She just listened. She must have hated me for not telling her before. Even to her.
I explained her that it must be for good, that it happened soon.
We both knew he suffered, but very less when compared to what was predicted and what i had imagined.
My father died at about 11:30pm, 5th Oct, 2005.
Next day my mother was speaking to some relatives about the trauma i had undergone those 2 weeks, prior to the incident. Since i was the only who knew that his cancer has gone way beyond.
Sometimes, i am not sure, i have a feeling, may be a doubt, that if i had treated my father at the Apollo Hospital or an equivalent, rather than the Government General Hospital, would he have lived for SOME MORE TIME? OR would he have suffered SOME MORE PAIN?
The fear of how to generate funds for the treatment, made us take a decision, about the General Hospital. But, if my father had died, after the treatment from Apollo hospital, may be my conscience wouldn't be as worried as it was before.
But, if my father had never smoked in his life, he wouldn't have visited any of the above hospitals, and had definitely lived this day.

Weakness is my Strength

Its been quite some time, in fact a long time, for me to stand at the door step of becoming a director. All my well wishers from the film industry (big technicians & top directors), friends and family have been asking me the same question... When are you going to direct?
Fact is, even before I joined the industry, when I was a young school boy, I had this confidence that I will become a successful director and the same confidence stays even now, uncorrupted, pure and sincere.
But why it is so late for me to direct a film than most of others? (my counterparts, juniors & seniors etc.?) Its been 11 years since my first film as an assistant director got released..!
The experience inside the industry exposes you to lot of vulnerabilities. To make it very simple, a person with minimum creative skills has less chances than a person with maximum communication skills of becoming a director, fast, quick & easy. No film institute, no practical work experience can guarantee you to become a director. It will only double your confusion. Only the thought of wanting to direct a film inside you will fulfill it.
Since the whole world revolves around comparison I too was attracted towards lot of movies made by others "waiting" to be made by me. My mind set used to revolve around directing Nagarjuna because of his "Shiva" or Mahesh because of his "Okkadu" or with Kamalhassan because of his "Nayagan", "Guna", "Devar Magan" and Aamir Khan or anyone who excited me on screen with their recent works. Unlike majority of many aspiring film makers of south who were attracted by Shankar, I always thought I should professionally beat Steven Spielberg, Mani Ratnam, Ram Gopal Varma, Selvaraghavan, K Vishwanath, Ashutosh Gowarikar, Sam Mendes, Rajkumar Santoshi, Rakesh Mehra, Chandrasekar Yeleti, Mira Nair, Zhang Yimou, Francis Coppola, Shekar Kapur, Takeshi Kitano, Christopher Nolan and the legendary Akira Kurosawa for all their best works till date.
To understand the fact that I am not here to make movies like those directors, or to make movies with those actors, took its time. Since am not a natural story writer, I was forced to write stories which should be directed by me, and it took its time. Since I am Chaitanya it took all this time.
I will agree with so many who said it is my weakness, but I strongly believe it is also my strength, and I will prove it.
Now that I have understood that I have come to peace with myself. Movies are like holidays, I really enjoyed them watching all these years, working all these years trying to learn the art of motion pictures. This happiness is because no one teaches you how to direct a film, but you will have to do it and learn it. This happiness will be the same for all of us who watch, work or make movies.
I am now at an important crossroad where I will choose my path with double the energy to continue the journey.
Where success is not an end of it, but always a part of it.

Ram Gopal Varma

Each and every individual in this planet is a mixture of Roark, Dominique, Keating, Wynand & Toohey. How different pieces of Earth are made into different materials of use, each one have their own purpose.
But to extract the most precious stone, say a Diamond like Howard Roark, it takes time and pain. Until then we have to be satisfied with Fakes of Roark, who carry his Mask, all the time, in their life time, but who actually are the Keatings & Toohey's.
The best example is Ram Gopal Varma.
He is as vulnerable as Peter Keating, as brilliant as Ellsworth Toohey, but considers himself as the Howard Roark.